Forgiving is the Ultimate Act of Thanksgiving

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Oct 12, 2025

Forgiving is the Ultimate Act of Thanksgiving

Matthew 18:21-35

Key Verse 18:35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Happy Thanksgiving! When I was given this passage as the Thanksgiving message, I needed a moment to process the relation between thanksgiving and forgiving. For me, this passage has been the most incomprehensible parable from my early age up until last month because I was confused about the setup of this parable. I couldn’t understand the relationship between the King and the servant and the concept of debt with questions like, “How does the servant owe that much money without pawning anything?” and I thought, “How cruel is the King who cancelled the cancelling of the debt which was already a done deal!” So it didn’t make any sense to me, who focused on these details. However, this parable emphasizes forgiveness for Christians. So the King is God, the unpayable debt is sin, and the unmerciful servant is the Christian who has no mercy. To tell you the conclusion first, forgiving is the ultimate act of thanksgiving we have to practice in this world. I pray that today, whoever receives this message may understand and be reminded again of God's great mercy in a forgiven sinner like me. And as the expression of our thanksgiving to God, we may display God’s forgiveness by forgiving others. 

1. Happy Ending with the King’s great mercy (21-27)

    This parable is called the parable of the unmerciful servant or the unforgiving debtor. It is about forgiveness. Just before this passage, Jesus taught the disciples about how to handle sins in the church. Peter wanted to show off his generosity toward forgiving the sins of brothers and sisters by asking, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” The Jewish rabbis taught that forgiving 3 times is enough to show a forgiving spirit. 

Look at verse 22. “Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” According to the footnote, it is 70 multiplied by 7, 490 times. It means unlimited forgiveness. I am so detail-oriented about small things, and so I may write down how many times I forgave that person in my journal. However, it is still impossible to record 490 times of forgiveness for everybody’s faults, and I will run out of pages to write. Maybe for the first time of forgiveness, we can rationalize to forgive that person, saying, “It may have been a mistake.” However, it will be harder to forgive the second time with the same person because forgiveness needs to pay the price. There are real costs for a broken heart and emotional, mental, physical and economic damages, and the pain to endure until it is dull with a scar.

However, Jesus gives a different interpretation about how to handle the pain we pay to forgive others. Right after replying to Peter, Jesus starts the parable without further explaining the reason for the unlimited forgiveness. I divided the parable into two parts. Look at verses 23-27. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,' he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’” “The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.” Until this point, this is a perfect happy ending.  No other interpretation can come in. However, we already know how the story goes to the “sad ending.” So we have to look closely at what can be easily missed.

Verse 23 starts with, “the kingdom of heaven is like…” Are you familiar with this starting phrase? It is from Matthew 13, which we studied in August. Here comes the King, later called the master or the servant’s master. Definitely, this king refers to our God, our heavenly father. He is not bound by the contract, unlike a human king or a boss. This king has almighty power forever over servants, even life and death. In verses 24 and 25, the servant was called in owing the master ten thousand bags of gold. Another version says ten thousand talents of gold, which will be around 40 billion dollars in current market prices of gold. It’s a crazy amount of money, right? At this point, we should not be questioning, “How come this servant borrowed that amount of money from the master?” This kind of question distracts us from the main purpose of this parable. Hypothetically, the servant owed 40 billion to the King. If 2 million dollars is the price for a Toronto downtown house, then for 40 billion, it will be 20,000 houses. More realistically, my house in Scarborough was half a million 11 years ago with a 35-year mortgage. We still have 24 years more to pay until I am 74 years old. If only half a million dollars of debt for 35 years, for 40 billion dollars, how long should we pay? I cannot imagine. For sure, this amount of money cannot be paid back in our lifetime.

What is the verdict? Verse 25b says, “…he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.” Again, don’t be distracted by the master’s “inhumane sentencing.” It shows the extreme penalty for the size of the debt. In verse 26, the servant knelt down to the master and begged, asking for more time to pay back the debt. Will it be possible? Absolutely not! This man had an illusion that he could pay back the debt if only he had time. But because of urgency and desperation, he is asking for time to postpone paying back the master.

Let’s read together verse 27. “The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.” In KJV, it is translated as “…the lord of that servant was moved with compassion…” Even though the description was condensed, we need to understand the heart of the master who completely changed the verdict by the servant’s plea. This king shows justice and love at the same time. When the servant begged for mercy, this king’s heart went down to the place of this servant who would lose everything he had. Not only as king but also as the master of his servant, he showed mercy to him.

In this parable, Jesus does not mention the loss to the master to cancel this servant’s debt. Jesus himself will stand at the place of judgment instead of him. Isaiah 53:6 says, “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” Jesus was crucified on the cross to forgive our sins. It is Jesus, the expression of our God’s love and forgiveness for my unpayable debt, sin. Jesus is the perfect love and perfect justice of our heavenly Father. After cancelling the debt and being released by the master, how was the servant’s heart? He was almost dead, but he survived, not only he but also his family. No more worry about the debt, also. This would be the best day to celebrate. He may be filled with a thankful heart toward the master because of his great forgiveness. 

2. Sad Ending of the servant’s ungrateful, unforgiving heart (28-35)

At this happiest moment, he happens to meet the fellow servant who owed him a hundred silver coins, which would be $10,000 in current value. His happiness quickly disappeared when he saw him. He choked him and put him into prison, even though he begged for mercy from him in the same way he did to his master. When his master knew this, he called him “wicked servant” who doesn’t show mercy even after this servant was given incomparable mercy from the master. Finally, the master handed him over to the jailer to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed, which means eternally. Let’s read verse 35, the final verdict together, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Again, we don’t need to think up excuses for this servant. I fell into the traps like, “The master’s forgiveness and the servant’s forgiveness are different,” or “I don’t like the work environment of reporting other people’s business,” or “the cruellest is the master who cancelled the cancellation of the debt.” The point of this parable’s sad ending is the ungrateful heart of the servant, which was not changed by the master’s great mercy, and the unforgiving heart of the servant who experienced great forgiveness from the master. Finally, the servant ended up as the wicked servant who does not reflect the master’s heart. When I put down the lenses of prejudice from my point of view, I can understand what Jesus wants to say to me.   

3. The Kingdom of Heaven ending with thanksgiving: Forgiving others by remembering being forgiven

I wish this parable had ended at verse 27, not to meet the fellow servant who owed money to this unmerciful servant. But, surely, we all meet situations like his, facing the unforgivable person. I can dramatize the second part of the parable with how the servant should have behaved: When that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him $10,000. He runs to him and grabs his hand. The fellow servant thought that he would accuse him about the debt. So he began to kneel down to ask for mercy. However, that servant lifted him up and said, full of joy, "This is the best day of my life. I know you owed me $10,000. It is not a small amount, but it is too small compared to my debt, which my master cancelled for me just before. So I also want to cancel your debt. Let’s rejoice with me; I have found new life today.”

Why can’t we forgive others? Because we already forgot the moment that we were forgiven. The moment which was filled with gratitude and joy, the joy of salvation. We are all forgiven sinners like this servant by God's great mercy, by believing in Jesus.

Jesus himself demonstrated how to forgive others, even on the cross, the most unforgivable place. Jesus forgave those who were crucifying him. In Luke 23, “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.””

We are too focused on our pain and our loss. Also, most of the offenders do not even repent or apologize for what they did to us. They don’t even know what they did wrong. Anger and hatred rise again and again by continuously replaying the moment in my head that I don’t want to remember. If we don’t forgive that offender, will he or she suffer because of my unforgiveness? Not at all. This unforgiving heart keeps torturing us, not the offender. It not only ruins our mental and emotional state, but it also affects our social relationships with other people. That unforgiveness from my heart will finally ruin my life in this world, and I will be condemned by my master who forgave me, calling me, “You wicked servant.” I cannot be excused, saying, “I am the victim. I didn’t do anything wrong.”      

Recently, I read the news about Charlie Kirk. I am really far from politics or ideology about what he supported. I saw 2 clips in his memorial service which moved me. One was his mentor’s speech about him: He said, “He is now in heaven. Not because, not because what he did, but because he believes in Jesus who sacrificed for him.” The other was his wife’s speech about forgiving the man who took away the life of her husband and the father of her children.   

We need to look up to the King who gave us great mercy, which is impossible to pay back to him. His forgiveness of me is much greater than any pain we have to forgive others. This is how we can forgive others in an unlimited way.

 

So when we are faced with the moment that hurts us, please turn your eyes and thoughts away from the person, away from the pain and away from the situation, but look up and remember the King’s great mercy and fill your heart again with the grateful heart of forgiveness. Forgiveness and thanksgiving are related because unresolved hurt and resentment can block our ability to feel and express genuine gratitude, while forgiveness can create the emotional space to experience joy, peace, and thankfulness. Carrying grudges or resentment can prevent you from being truly thankful, even for good things. Forgiveness helps clear these emotional obstacles, making it easier to recognize and appreciate the positive aspects of your life.

Every Sunday, we sing ‘The Lord’s prayer’, “… And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors…” When Jesus taught this prayer, Jesus knew that we need to forgive others daily to come before the heavenly Father. 

Let’s altogether bow down and close our eyes, pray together with me for those who still have unforgiving hearts.

My Heavenly Father, you know that I have suffered a lot because of the pain that person gave me. I don’t want to ruin my life because of the offender. Now I come before you again, Father. The moment, the moment you forgave me. I am the worst sinner whom you died for and gave me great forgiveness. Please fill me with the joy of salvation. Please recover my gratitude. Overpower all my pain and sorrow with your grace upon me. Let me let go of this unforgiving heart. I leave it up to you, Father, because you are the Righteous judge who knows everything that has happened. Instead, please fill me with overflowing thankfulness. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Big Idea: Forgiveness is the best thanksgiving act to God.

Offering song: Yet not I but through Christ in me.